About me, Francois, Okategoriserade, Travel

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way

So I was living in the truck in Switzerland, once more my rescue plan had failed to success. But I never ever ever ever give up! And I always get what I want, because I want good thing for the once I love and myself! Good always wins!
Two of my best friends , Nashmil and John Hickey had both given my little gifts to keep my spirit up! Nashmil gave me a book, and John Hickey a cd! It really helped!

I learned these important sayings:
There is no way to happiness, HAPPINESS IS THE WAY
And, What do you walk in if you follow the herd?

Like for example: if you walk a long time behind some cows, what do you end up walking in?
Anyway, I was in he truck and “that person” did everything to get me kicked out of Switzerland, even hired a lawyer to get me kicked out of the country!

“That person” also threatened to kill me many times.

It frighten me, because I know what “that person” is capable to do, but my love for Francois was and is stronger❤️
As I wrote in the last post, “that person” had made a lot of rules for Francois.

He was only allowed to come see the horses 2 times a week and maximum 4 hours. He needed 30 min to drive from his house down to the stable and 30 min home. So he had 3 hours to see the horses.

I could not afford a groom at that time, so when I knew he was coming I had brushed all the horses and tacked up two ready so he could see most possible horses in his 3 hours.

I had also build the jumps, so everything was ready!

Me and the horses in Suisse

He was not allowed to be alone with me, but because of the death threats “that person” was not really allowed to come to the stable.
Francois and I wanted to hold each other and be close to each other. So sometimes we did not do the horses but ware only tougher in the truck the 3 hours he was allowed to be there!
I was so worried about him, he got another blood clot in his lungs and could have died a second time.

“That person” said it was because I was coursing Francois so much stress.

But in reality it was all the pills he took and the staying in bed all day and night.
I was many times consumed by sadness, and everything seemed so hopeless, was “these people” going to cause the death of the man I love? But then I was reminded by the book and the cd, every time I was in the car I listen to it, and read the book every day!

My friends came as often as they could to support me!

They wrote wonderful letters to Francois! And made me see that I had to be myself, the happy person that smiled to everybody, that was positive and helpful, and let the person who was crying in despair go.

“That person” did not want to be in Suisse controlling Francois all the time, so a “babysitter” was hired.

The babysitter was from the family and reported back to that person everything Francois did. If he called me to much he would be disciplined, because he was not allowed to talk to me on the phone other than making arrangement to see the horses. “That person” or the babysitter would listen by the door, if he would say that he loves me, and “that person” would hear it, there would be jelling and suddenly the phone was shut off.
For my 30 year old birthday Francois and I had rented a suite the Kempinski in Vevey! We had planed that he would come for 2.5 bourse on my birthday and 2.5 hours the day after! He told “that person” that he was going to see the horses, but “that person” knew it was my birthday and said he was not allowed to go to see the horses at all that week, because it was my birthday and she was not going to give us the satisfaction of being together even for one hour on my birthday.

Birthdays are huge for me, when I was little my parents trow the best birthday parties ever! My birthday would start that they woke me up with cake and a little glass of my favorite fizzy drink + a gift in bed! Then more gifts would be at the piano in the living room. After school it would be birthday party with all kinds of cakes, jelly, boller (a Norwegian thing) pizza🍕 or hot dogs🌭, chips and candy! Other kids would have cakes and hot dogs but not candy and jelly, but my parents had EVERYTHING! My parents and their friends all loved me so they would all bake cakes and deliver to my party!

To the party my friends and my grand parents would always come, and sometime some friends of my parents!

So you can hear I was brought up with really nice birthday, a funny thing is that it is always Sunshine on my birthday.

Back to the story, I was then suddenly alone, in Switzerland, the few friends I had made was unable to come in the evening to the stable to be on my little birthday party, and Francois was not allowed to see me at all.

I had never felt so alone, my 30 year old birthday without one person who actually cared about me.

Turned out to be not so bad after all, the kind people at the stable, even though many of them could not speak English, and I do not speak French , well they came! They had used google translate and made notes and some games for me! Also presents! They was simply so kind, the day was saved by amazing strangers!

I also want to thank Vincent for sending flowers to the truck, and of course my parents for sending a gift in the post 😍 and all of the people that made my birthday a fun day, although my love was not allowed to see me.

The babysitter was suppose to follow him to the stable every time he was allowed to come, and monitor that he did not hug me, or that we were alone together.

But the babysitter was very very afraid of dogs, and in Bex everybody has dogs, and they run freely around!

We were so lucky that the first time she came it was some big dogs at the stable that were rather hyper!

The dogs quickly picked up on the babysitters fear of dogs and started to follow her and behave wildly, jumping up and down. So the babysitter refused to come back to the stable again!

We told her, that here there are only a few dogs, but on the jumping competition there is at least 20 more dogs.

So that was settled, the fear of dogs from the babysitter trumped the control craziness of “that person”. So the stable and the shows remained a “free place” for me and Francois.
When there was shows in the weekend Francois was allowed to come with me one day, but then he was only allowed to come one time to see the horses and me in the week before.

So if he was coming with me to the show on Saturday, he could come and see me and the horses and help me train on Monday. And then I would see him on Saturday again!

But if he was 15 min late home on Monday, he would be punished and was not allowed to come to the show in the weekend.

So if he left home at 09.00 and was home 13.15 instead of 13.00 he was punished.

Like that he missed a lot of things, he missed my first 155/160 with Duc, he missed seeing Siam and me become second in 145. And one time me and Duc was placed in the summer classic a Friday night, both me and Francois was so happy!

I went to the price giving and this made me and Francois come later back to the stable as planed, that caused him to come late for the babysitters dinner. And he was then grounded for two weeks.
Before that he had been as strong as he could be in his situation, since he was still very tranquilest, but had said he was coming with me the whole show in Humlikon. It was agreed, we had even got a hotel and everything! Of course “that person” had said he was only allowed to go to Humlikon with me that week if he behaved well, came home in time and did not sleep in the same place as me at the show.
Anyway, I got placed in the summer classic, that lead to Francois coming to late home on a Friday and what then grounded and was not allowed to see me for two weeks.
We was suppose to go together to Humlikon on Tuesday, since it starts at Wednesday, but Francois was not allowed to come before Friday.

One of my Suisse Friends came to help me on Thursday and staid the whole weekend, thank you Julie💖 but before that I was alone with Bayamo, Siam and Duc!

Luckily John Whitaker used to work with Francois, and since I am Francois girlfriend, John and his top groom Damian took me under their wings. They made sure that in every class before July came I jumped for example as nr9 and John as nr 10 so I could warm up with them!
Humlikon is a huge deal, all the best riders goes there, it is big, technical and on top of that a small ring.

Sadly Francois was only allowed to come Friday, and it is 4 hours to drive. Francois was very tranquilized so he did not arrive before Friday evening.

And he missed me and Duc being clear and placed in the GP qualifier! And siam jumping clear a good 140 course.

He was so sad he cried, he had he trained me to be so much better, and not only had he missed my 155/160 debut, but also this.

Days went by slowly, we both were longing for the days we could see each other, my friends kept being the wind in my back, and the knowing that good always wins! With this I saw new countries and new show rings! But always with Francois in my heart and in my mind

Parlanti started to sponsor me

To be continued

8 thoughts on “There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way”

  1. I admire your resilience, positive strength and inhibited nature. And I’m so glad you seem to be doing a lot better these days! I must admit I’m curious who that person and another person were? But I guess it might come later in the story. Anyways, take good care of yourself Eva. Big hug!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Eva I just wanted to say I’ve read through the whole blog and you really are an incredible woman. So very strong and passionate. It’s amazing what you have been through and everything you and Francois have accomplished despite ‘that person’. I wish you and Francois all the happiness in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Eva- you are an amazing person. You both are lucky to have found one another. I’m horrified by this person you speak of. The words allowed, punished and he was grounded boggle my mind! How did this person have such control over Francois?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Appreciate you kind comment! Francois is bipolar, and since he had some challenges with his business and was to much medicated he could not stop “that person” from taking over. Even worse things are coming


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